I'm a be honest with you.

Time has flown fast these two years. the craziness around me is stirring the rafters. The maggots that once were hidden under the trash are not in full bloom outside of their nest. Like a bad outbreak of stupidity they have all taken root.

Full random thought there. I have no content. I am so serious about this my inner fiber is actually smiling and smirking to myself. That deep seeded guilt that normal people feel when they are lying through their teeth. I am not an normal guy. I can say that with certainty.

Growing up with 5 older brothers you tend to be tough. The hierarchy ahead of me made me the way I am today. I think saying this out loud is going to lessen my spirit. Then again I am not an ordinary guy.

There was this game my older brothers used to play. Not all of them. Only two of them. They would get a rope and tie my younger brother and I outside the house in the dark. We had to untie ourselves then try to get back inside the house. I was only eight at the time. That shapes you.

My dad bought us two pairs of gloves. My brothers are fives years older than me. The youngest of the five. Too big for an eight year old. They would get the local riff raff. Put one pair on them then one on me. Do not fight back. Punches would land on me while my younger brother and I just either dodged. Blocked. Or took that punch. Timed. Tested. Over and over with all the riff raff that came to play. Normal day for boys wanting to play. That shapes you.

It's all fun and games until you drive someone to the edge.

I'm a be honest with you. Sometimes it just take the edge when you start to use your boot and press down on that throat. Slow and deliberate. Squeezing tighter and tighter. Watching the life ebb away.

I'm a be honest with you. Sometimes its easier to just fart loud and proud inside an elevator chuck a block full of people. Looking eye to eye at everyone who starts to react. Smiling.