Leaving the world to follow behind

in OCD9 months ago

The smile left his face as he accepted, this would be the last time he recognized the world as he had known it in life, a place he had come to love. He looked toward the window where the sunlight streamed in filtered through the leaves trees and the soft breeze caused their shadows to dance upon the floor and spill onto the wall. He felt it would be these moments he would miss the most, the simple details of the passing day, but knew it was a lie, for these details had always passed him by.

All of the words heard, read and spoken, all of the words learned, remembered and forgotten, and all the words that held such importance and commanded such attention at the time of their delivery - fell silent and meaningless. The life I have lead has been no life at all, he whispered to the empty room.

It would be the people who hold the place in heart, those who will be carried on into the afterlife, if there is such a thing. Yet, he knew he thought anther lie, for to die is to walk a path alone and whether there is a welcoming light or the blackest of walls, alone it would be faced. And all of the faces of the walking world would disappear into the memory as if they had never been born.

Have faith, was the message from so many who had walked tall, confident that their purpose was to make it through to a better world, whilst living under the yoke of promise to crawl through the one they knew. Hope perhaps one can hold, but while claims of all endless love, then place conditions on the very call. Even in the potential final move, the ego says there can be no selfless act and wants exclusivity to the last.

The call of a bird broke the silence and awoke him from the useless thoughts of life. What point there was to contemplate it all now when there is no way to back track and choose again, to walk the path less traveled or the way that so many have already passed. To face the challenge of life ahead or to take the smooth path and live a long world, cutting corners to conserve energy, to be used for what and to what end.

Contemplate in life to look at the forking road and make a choice on which to take, under the guidance of accountability for the decision and the consequences of the result. An examined life can only reflect back what has been know til that point, and turning the heel and looking ahead can only be met with the prediction of what will be met. The friends of monsters, monstrous friends and those who did their best, to be more than the rest of us, better than the best of us and still never moved far from the mean.

And I again he thought, I have fallen into the trap to think too much and do too little. Even in the last moments and before my last breath I have chosen to think more than act. And now my body ravaged by age and unable to lift more than mind, is trapped and unable to move further. My heart lay open as my eyes begin to close and I live with the hope that there is more to explore.

But if that darkened corner arrives to engulf all there is left of me, so be it for it has traveled this far, a companion from start til end. While there have been many who have come and gone, perhaps death is my only friend. And as all the lights of life release their grip, it'll be it that'll never let go.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]

Onboarding

Sort:  

Hats off to you for pressing with such heat the words of thoughts so clearly deep for most who's souls can only keep. In ever sleep what do we meet? Our deeds in life, wasted or reaped? To what end, are words between friends, and do they echo onward? Should I think upon dark thoughts, of which I am the father? Like generations, dust to dust, what should make us so different? Not a thing, but choiceless trust, upon the surface, smiling. But generations, decayed rust, enjoyed the tides like brining. To be cooked in a furnace and proceed in whining? So, we should live a life of violence, not sadistic, but of action. Or is carpe diem just a farce, and proof, therefore our brevity. Or should we joke and laugh today, living life in levity? Such questions are folly, for on the day we cease our crawling, we will no longer be, or we will stand and walk away, through new gates, our journey's fated. The microscope unveiled the secret, energy is ever-changing, but ne'er does it disappear from even our existence. So, maybe outside, of tortured mind, is some form of divine design, to which we will not comprehend until the day our path does bend, and slipping from our clay-born skin, we find the truth in lasting light, that exists behind closed eyes, and even in the darkness.

Thanks for sharing brother! This was incredibly well written @tarazkp!

!ENGAGE 50



@badseedalchemist you have received 50 ENGAGE from @tarazkp!
View and trade the tokens on Steem Engine.


This tip bot is powered by witness untersatz!

What an awesome comment!!!

I'm glad that you liked it. Your piece was moving and unlocked some creativity. It also seemed the only way to communicate effectively the things I wanted to say in relation to your post. The caliber of your writing and thoughts required more thought to respond than just a simple comment. Some of the better words I've read. Great job communicating the mental blunder of existence few can project. :)

Writing is both an escape and an exploration, depending on the attention paid and the willingness to dive or the desire to avoid for me. Generally, I think more than I write. I think if more people wrote at length, they would have less issues dealing in life.

I agree. :) Writing has helped me to put my thinking in context, better organizing my life for future trajectory and has even helped my speech. I'm not much of a speaker. Due to the fact that I think multi-level thoughts, it makes it very difficult to relay information simplistically. Communicating requires stringed arguments, which must be ordered in an understandable way. My thinking has not always followed these guidelines, but through writing many thousands of words I have greatly improved!

My thinking has not always followed these guidelines, but through writing many thousands of words I have greatly improved!

I think that writing can slow down the mind enough to process with more focus. Some of the creativity of mind could even be lost while writing, but there are pros and cons to everything :)

!ENGAGE 20



@badseedalchemist you have received 20 ENGAGE from @tarazkp!
View and trade the tokens on Steem Engine.


This tip bot is powered by witness untersatz!

What a beautifully written and thought provoking story! A lot of pretty intense emotion - or at least that is the way I read and perceive it.

Also... VERY nice photos!

!tip

Thanks. I am nor sure if people enjoy reading this kind of thing, but I enjoy writing it.

The photos are from Poland during SteemFest 3.

!ENGAGE 30

I was going to ask if you had taken then, but just decided to assume haha!

As for the writing, in my opinion... I think this sort of writing has a lot more to do with the writers enjoyment / therapy than the reader ;)

Yes, it may be a niche group of people that appreciate it - but they will REALLY appreciate it and that is worth more than a mass of "I kinda get it" :)

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with niche group content contribution, but I wouldn't expect to get much support if this is all I did, as the niche isn't that large. It helps my head at least.

The writing variation is kind of like cleansing the palate for my mind. :)

Well, your mental health and clarity is pretty important haha!



@jaynie you have received 30 ENGAGE from @tarazkp!
View and trade the tokens on Steem Engine.


This tip bot is powered by witness untersatz!

Thank you @tarazkp :)

Loading...

Oh my God! These photos are beautiful. I'm glad I visited your post, I love it! 👏👏👏

Congratulations @tarazkp!
Your post was mentioned in the Steem Hit Parade in the following category:

  • Pending payout - Ranked 6 with $ 43,15

Stellar view? Space hotels race to offer tourists a room in the sky.

Tired of your ordinary earthly vacations? Some day soon you might be able to board a rocket and get a room with a view - of the whole planet - from a hotel in space... Continue reading

Unfortunately, dropping irrelevant links on posts is going to get you flagged. You'd think you would have learned that by now.

 9 months ago Reveal Comment