Marriage And Divorce - part one

Hello everyone here, this year has been one of its kind since I was born. I have never experienced anything like lockdown in my entire life until March 2020, which took almost the whole year in my country. I just thank God today because am about to witness 2021and am sure all of us will see beyond 2021.

I want to talk about marriage and divorce today, I was born into a polygamous home with 12 children and two wives. I am eleventh child of my father, and from my mother's side, I am the fifth child.

My father married 4 wives but two of them did not have child for my father, the first wife happen to be my step mother and she had 6 children for my father- 4 boys and 2 girls. Those boys are up to be my father because there is long distance of age between us. Infact, some of there children are more than me in age.

My father was very rich, because of that, he married another wife which happens to be my mother. My mother had 6 children again for my father- 4 boys and 2 girls. I am the second to last born and also last born boy in the house.

The reason for this is that, polygamous home always come with trouble and unrest. My father died some years ago and left us in that state of unrest. This is the reason I want to advice single and married in this platform about marriage and divorce.

Marriage is a union between man and woman. Marriage is not do or die affair, it is a union provided by God to help each other in every aspect of life. God knew that it wasn't Good for man to be alone, that was the reason he gave us helper. Statistics shows higher percentage of couples divorce and separate worldwide.

42-45 percent of first marriages end in divorce

60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.

73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.

You can see how statistical data of couples divorced in USA is high, so also applicable to most country in the world today. I have not given you the data of numbers of couples that separated. This act has ruined the life of children born to such family in underdeveloped country. I met 10 years old girl that her parents divorced recently. I saw that there is no parental care when she needed it most. She always thinking and she wanted to run away from school but thank God that, the church is taking care of her.

I met another girl who was traded her body for money, I approached her This faithful day and she told me that, her parents got divorced when she was small and she was sent for someone to take care of her. The woman that she was leaving with happen to be a prostitute, which later initiated her. That was how she started the business.

I met a boy one day, I asked him 'why are you hawking?' He told me that, he told me that, "my father and mother got divorced and my mummy is not have enough to send me to school". Tears ran down my eyes.

I WANT TO GIVE YOU THREE SECRETS TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE.

1. Rebuild broken trust: it is not possible that offense will not come, your trust might have been broken by your partner or you might have broken the trust of your partner but I want to remind you that marriage is more than trust. You have work to do. You need to rebuild it back by simply open up. It takes longer time to build trust, it doesn't take a minute to break trust. Also remember that, if you leave him/her, you might meet the worst person. It is better to be with someone you know than someone you don't know.

2. How to deal with I don't love you: Sometimes you might get tired of your spouse or you partner you are dating. You might feel that the urge is no longer there again but you don't need to say I don't love you. You have to deal with yourself. I do ask men outside that what are the reasons you certainly don't love anything about your wife?

Mr michael said, "I just got a new lady that is very beautiful and gorgeous. I can't control myself when I saw her." When you are not contented with what you have, you find yourself looking for that which you have.

Mr Charles said, " my wife doesn't care about me again, whenever she comes home she's on the bed sleeping."

So, difference cases can cause, 'i don't love you' but what I know is that, you can't keep changing them for the rest of your life. That is the reason you have to fight yourself and love him/her back. No matter what it takes; you should not defy your bed and remain faithful.

1. How to forgive and be forgiven: No matter how much you love your spouse, there must be disagreement one day. You will keep offending each other. But you should learn how to forgive immediately and move on. Unforgiveness will only keep you in a spot and you will continue provoking yourself and get angry. Therefore, my friends; the best thing is 'let go offense' either you right or wrong or your partner is right or wrong. Do not re-emphasiz issues. You MUST forgive if you want to keep happy in life.

Check my next article to find more on marriage and divorce.