Splinterlands Rare Card Profile - Twisted Jester

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Snarls hide behind a funny face,
Sharp as knives that carve out lovers' hearts.
Peace is but a victim of his chase,
Death is just another of his arts.

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Twisted Jester

Splinter - Mortis, the Death Splinter

Set - Alpha/Beta

Class - Dark Bodyguard

Size - The Twisted Jester is very thin, standing nearly twice the height of an average man. In spite of being so tall, he is incredibly surefooted and not the slightest bit clumsy or awkward. He can easily hide behind things and has an uncanny ability to fade into shadows to seem invisible. His long legs allow him to slip around very quickly and quietly, even in the open Arena battlefield at Mount Mox, coming up behind his enemies and flinging knives into their backs.

Lifespan - As long as he is still tortured by grief from the events of his former life, the Twisted Jester will never be able to move forward in the great dark cycle. He will never be able to take on his next Dark Eternal form unless he can release the bitter memory of his past tragedy. He has lived for hundreds of Splinter years as this dark reflection of twisted mockery, and in this form he will continue until he finally comes to terms with mistakes from his living days.

Habitat - As the head of the Personal Guard for the Lord of Darkness, the Twisted Jester has quarters within the Shrouded Palace at the center of Utopin. His room is comfortable and well-furnished, but the Jester has never desired comfort. Although there are several soft chairs, he spends the majority of his leisure time lying on the cold black marble floor. There is a door in his room that grants him exclusive access to a network of secret tunnels. These tunnels can get the Twisted Jester nearly anywhere in the city at a moment’s notice, and knowledge of their existence is reserved for only the most important members of the Dark Lord’s guard.

Weapon - The Twisted Jester loves knives more than a common Dark Eternal is technically permitted to love anything. When he thinks no one is looking, he can be found flirting, bantering and giggling with his blades as if they are alive. When in battle or on guard, the Jester does not carry his knives openly, but conceals them in the many folds of his baggy pants. From there they can be retrieved in the blink of an eye and thrown with deadly accuracy at any enemy.

Diet - On what does the Twisted Jester feed? Being a Dark Eternal, he has no need for food. The Twisted Jester eats rage, devours revenge and consumes deception. On these meals he is extremely well fed.

Allies - As the captain of his bodyguard, the Twisted Jester is one of the closest confidants of the Lord of Darkness. He follows every one of the Dark Lord’s orders and goes along with all his schemes and ideas without question. Still, rumors around Utopin suggest that the Jester’s true allegiance belongs to the Dark Enchantress, the Dark Lord’s queen. In his bouts of hysterical madness, the Jester is unable to hide the fact that she reminds him of his lost love from a former and fading life. Even though the Dark Lord has noticed these affections toward his queen, he is not jealous. He knows that the Twisted Jester is forever broken and will always do his bidding.

Enemies - The Twisted Jester has a distaste for not only the living, but the happy living. He is especially enraged by Lyverians and their colonists who inhabit the Mortis city of Beluroc. They tend to live in happy, monogamous couples; the Jester hates them for their love. After a gruesome event now known as the love day massacre, the Jester is no longer permitted to accompany the Dark Lord to the Moxian tournament grounds in Praetoria. On that day the Twisted Jester slaughtered 18 innocent spectators (9 couples), who were celebrating recent marriage by visiting the tournaments as was the Lyverian tradition. Rather than imprisoning the Dark Lord’s lead bodyguard for his crimes and causing a Dark Eternal uprising, the Gloridax masters simply barred his physical attendance from all future tournaments.

Pastimes - The Twisted Jester rarely has time for leisure, with all his administrative and protective duties. His one hobby (and the only thing that still makes him laugh out loud) is standing atop the city walls of Utopin and lobbing large blades at approaching Animated Corpses from the Southern Waste.


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