Forgiveness, it takes longer

"What are your thoughts on forgiveness? Do you find it hard to forgive or not?"

Pixabay

Coming from the deepest part of my heart, I have a very different take on this, and I'm not going to go with the normal thing everyone says, which is oftentimes a lie. Yes, most people would say they find it easy to forget, and after they say such or confess to the person that caused the offense, within their heart, it doesn't go like that.
To be truthful, I find it very difficult to forgive, especially when I'm being kicked hard and the person is not remorseful about it. Many times, I would want to come out plainly to confess or accept the person back, but no, my heart wants to be greatly settled first before saying it out loud, and that doesn't happen quickly.

There was a time I was accused of stealing a phone where we went to charge phones. The owner of the phone took it very personally and didn't allow me to say anything. It was alarming enough that people assembled on the scene, which was so disgraceful. I tried many times to justify myself, but no one wanted to hear it. I wasn't beaten, though; the disgrace was just massive, and I couldn't withstand the moment, so I started dropping tears.
Oh yeah, I was searched that day, nothing was found, and he thought I had already moved the phone to my house and returned to act innocent.

In the end, the man felt the disgrace wasn't enough, and he didn't want to run at a loss. He collected my phone and gave me my SIM CARD, saying if I brought the phone, I could take back mine. Although the phone in question wasn't as costly as the ones we have now.

From that moment, I hated that guy because how could someone be so shallow as to not allow me to clear myself? My heart darkened towards him, and there was nothing anyone could do to make me accept him back as a human.

After about a week, I heard that the guy found the phone at the back of the refrigerator in the kitchen. The phone wasn't switched on; he was about to plug it in when he moved to the kitchen to get something, and on getting there, he dropped it on top of the fridge. He didn't know when it fell to the back of the fridge, and he assumed he had already plugged it in.

Pixabay

So he came begging with my phone, and people around were begging with him for forgiveness on the spot. I was surprised at how my friends were begging with him for immediate forgiveness. Who does that? It can never be me; I can only say it with my mouth, but it can't align with my heart.

Anyways, I collected my phone after much begging, and because I'm not an addict of troublemakers, I didn't involve the police. I just collected my phone and boldly told him that I don't think I can forgive him.

The truth is that my heart later let go, but it took me months.

So that's me. I like it to align with my heart first before confessing forgiveness to any offender.

Thank You!