Flawed …Finale …Letting go and Moving on
After my night out at The Pilot Tavern I spent a long time in my front room staring into the fire. I wasn't alone though, Tux, my feline Muse, was lying beside me keeping me company.
The pattern of my past life was broken, leaving me with only the poverty of myself. I had been overly concerned with 'fixing' me, caught up in such self-absorption I became my own little project and was slowly suffocating.
I finally came to the realization that if I was too preoccupied with how I was doing, then, I was too concerned about myself instead of living.
Life was calling to me, drawing on my heart―demanding something of me, whether I could do it or not.
I had to put my plans on the shelf and care about somebody other than myself.
Sitting in my front room with lamps turned off, mesmerized by fireplace flames, it seemed odd that rescuing a stray cat from the cold could start a train of events that led to this―
A moment in time I couldn't quite comprehend by myself.
A cloud of unknowing enveloped my future and I had to surrender to where Life would take me. I closed my eyes and in the darkness, saw Charlotte's face staring back at me.
A line came to me―there's a time for everything under heaven. I knew this was the time for me and I'd find out by going where I had to be.
The next day I was back at the bookstore seeing Charlotte. She brought Scribbles, her long haired ginger cat along with her.
The cat decided to leap up on me and when I cradled her in my arms, she extended a paw to touch my face.
Charlotte was shocked. "She's never done that to anyone else before―my friends all say she's a one-person cat."
"Hmm, maybe it's a trust issue," I suggested.
"But you just met her."
I smiled, "Maybe she knows that you trust me."
Charlotte's eyes grew huge and moist. "I think you're right," she whispered.
"I read your book," she said suddenly.
"So you knew who I was from the start?"
She shook her head. "Not until you told me your name and I confess, I checked social media to see if you had an online presence."
"I can't have too much of a presence," I laughed, if you didn't recognize me."
"But I told you—I’m into Agatha Christie and British mysteries, so I might have heard of you, but didn't connect you to your author name. Later, I discovered I actually had your books here on the shelf and saw your photo on the bio page."
"No harm, no foul," I laughed, "I was only teasing you."
"But you didn't let me finish, I really liked your book. I read it all last night. I like the fact you didn't mention you were a mystery writer when I told you I liked that genre."
"Well, it's hard to compete against Agatha Christie," I chuckled, "But I knew it would come out eventually."
"So you planned on coming back here?"
"Since the first time I met you," I confessed.
"That was only yesterday, "she reminded.
"But I'll be back tomorrow and every day after that if you let me."
"I'd like that," she smiled.
Her cat touched my face with her paw again. "See? Even Scribbles approves."
She laughed. "I guess that settles it, then."
It did settle things even more when her cat and my Cat met and got along.
It wasn't exactly the way I envisioned changing my life, but it was better—we all found a place where we belonged.
You can't go back and rewrite the past or try to correct past wrongs, but you can go forward into the future and leave the past where it belongs.
Charlotte and I and our furry friends are making new memories every day and living the dream instead of trying to correct something that's past and done…
And letting go of people who held us back, who were flawed like us is important too—not holding grudges but allowing them to go forward too, hopefully toward a better future, to a life better than this, and not stettling for second best.
Thank you!