When Men Shed Tears | The Ink Well Creative Nonfiction #61

There needs to be light to all this. What is life without joy and freedom?

Bayo, one of my classmates stamped his feet to the ground as he entered the class, not knowing that anyone was around.

Frustration is a threat to what the future holds for anyone. Bayo was a direct definition of what a frustrated person looks like. I have had my share of such frustrating experiences too. But my friend, Bayo, had an extreme situation that put me on the edge of my seat anytime the thoughts came flashing through my mind.

In January 1997, I met Bayo for the first time. We have been in the same class for the past three years but we haven't got the chance to know each other intimately. That morning, I sat in the class, crying my eyes out from the ugly experience I had at home. I had left my mum in the same state. All my efforts to find out what had caused her crying did not yield any results. On getting to school, I just sank in my chair when I remembered the state in which I had left my mum at home.

With my head buried at my desk, I heard someone come into the class sobbing. It was Bayo, from sobbing, it became a loud cry. Immediately, I wiped my tears and walked up to him:

Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?

Instead of the poor boy being calm, his cry became louder. I thought at first that I had done something wrong, but as I made to go back to my sit to resume my part of the crying, he spoke:

This world is just an empty space.

I looked back because the statement meant nothing to me.

My dad has been away for the past two years. He just woke up one morning, took all his necessary stuff, and moved out.

As he spoke, he became calmer.

All the while, it's been my mum who has been taking care of my siblings and me.

It was like a burden was taken off him as he continued to say what was bothering him.

Now, my mum fell sick and couldn't go to her shop. None of us ate dinner and this morning there is nothing at home to eat.

Oh! I see. It's all about food and most importantly, the troubles of a single parent. At that moment, I felt very sorry for Bayo.

Why were you crying?

Bayo asked. I had thought he wouldn't notice that I was crying. And now that he had asked, what would I say had caused me to cry?

My case is different from yours. I woke up this morning preparing to come to school and found my mum crying.

She couldn't tell me what was making her cry.

Silence clouded our classroom for a moment. Then, other learners started coming in from the assembly ground. They never suspected that we were not on the assembly ground with them, else, that would have been another escapade.

Tamilles Esposito

Throughout that day, I couldn't do all the usual in class and some of my classmates noticed it. During lunch break, I walked up to Bayo so that we could conclude our discussion. For the first time, we held hands like new found lovers and walked to the middle of the school football pitch, away from those who would eavesdrop at our discussion.

So, would like to tell me what you think might have caused your mum to cry?

I heave a smile at Bayo and purge my heart to him. He is now like a brother and a confidant.

I am not very sure. But I know that my dad left us because he felt that my mum nags a lot.

Just that?

Yeah! Just that.

That was just his excuse. The real thing was that he was having a new family somewhere around town. He got a lady pregnant and used that as bait a to leave our house.

Bayo felt disappointed. It was written all over him that my case was about men and their egos. He was of the view that my dad had stooped so low by getting another woman out of his marriage in the family way.

But then, we all moved on. My mum has moved on with her life. What concerns her now is how we are going to be raised to become relevant in the future but it hasn't been easy. The hustle sometimes weighs her down.

We shared our pains, it was the best we could at that moment. Crying would not solve anything.

I felt light. The heaviness of heart with which I came to school was eased. This was the beginning of our friendship. We built it on tears and pains which served as our morale booster in all that we did to become the light and joy of our mothers.