People of the UK rejoice. It's time for MY version of a proper socialist utopia...

Mandatory attendance at our vegan friendly re-education camps for gender binaries now a manifesto pledge

I am pleased and humbled to be here on the people's revolutionary socialist forum (Steem) to announce that the days of the evil capitalist empire of @theresa.may is finally coming to its worn-out knees.

The radical people's army is marching through the streets of London, waving their Kalergi flags, and bearing the arms of the liberated proletariat (the knife, sawnoff shotgun and squeezy bottles of corrosive face-melting substances...hasn't Sadiq done well?). We've even got people wrapped in ISIS flags in the capital, and I personally think it's a testament to our wonderful diversity movement.

Showing how Jihadi's support family values

We've beaten Brexit

In a stunning twist, that capitalist dictator @theresa.may finally came to her senses last week and realised that she needed me, because the country is just filled with Nazis. 17.4 Million of them in fact voted to leave the European Union's Socialist Paradise. Who would have thought there were that many evil capitalist Jews in the country? They breed like rabbits you know. We really need to do something about them.

Anyway, the Prime Minister came to me and asked what she should do, because there were still enough MP's in parliament squealing about democracy to prevent us stopping Brexit altogether. Which is what the public really voted for, they've just been brainwashed by the Yids obviously. This is unheard of, the leader of the government, who doesn't have the support of her own cabinet subcontracting the biggest constitutional issue in hundreds of years to the leader of the opposition.

Naturally she took my sound advice, and pushed through a bill to basically ask the EU if it would be ok to pretty much ignore the Far Right extremists who all voted to leave by having a debate that lasted just three hours, then got it bang to rights through the Lords (full of my mates) the following day and with Royal Assent fifteen minutes later. Comrades, now THAT'S how to stage a coup without firing a single shot!

So, we are going to get to stay in the European Union, apparently for anything from a few months to permanently, and the best news is that Theresa will be gone in a week or so, at which point I'll become the Prime Minister, and we can get down to the proper business of turning Britain into a wonderful Socialist heaven, under my leadership.

It's actually quite a turn around really. It really wasn't that long ago that, my own party was trying to kick me out, saying I was too much of a marxist for them. But I showed them, all thanks to the fact that we've been insisting on making sure the national curriculum, and every professor and teacher in the UK is a card carrying Intersectionalist for the last 20 years. Kids soon grow up don't they, and if I had my way, I'd lower the voting age to 6....and also the age of consent too. I mean, if it was good enough for Mohammed right....?

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MY NEW-COMMUNIST MANIFESTO

So today, I am pleased to announce my manifesto for the election. These are sensible policies which are primarily for the benefit of the many transgender non-binary oppressed citizens that make up the majority of the population of the country.

These include:

• Tougher sentences for straight white males who don't show enough guilt.

• Redirecting the entire budget for the police force into investigating online tweets that offend people. Obviously, this will only apply to those nasty cis-gendered white people. And Jews (of course).

• A complete banning of meat eating. Except for religious exemptions (does not include Christians or Kikes)

• Councils to be responsible for ensuring that bins aren't collected and everyone is permanently on strike. This should help us to get back to the Three Day Week, so everyone can have more of a holiday and enjoy their life without having to work all the time.

• Devalue the pound, and increase the minimum wage to a grand an hour. Just like in Venezuela, a place my front bench team and I , admire very much for it's wonderful socialist policies.

• Immediate re-patriation of people who left the country to join ISIS and who have discovered it wasn't as good as being at home with their education and health care all paid for by everyone else, along with enhanced benefits and a free house. We can pay for this by ensuring we don't give any money to veterans, because ex-soldiers are perfectly well equipped for, and actually PREFER life on the streets. True.

• A brand new Holodomor, aimed squarely at the North West of Britain for their support of UKIP.

• Changing the British national anthem to the popular classic "Throw the Jew down the well". Rousing!

• The death penalty for improper pronoun use.

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Workers Unite! Vote for me in the next election.

Obviously, if you don't support our inclusive policies, you will quickly be doxxed by Hope Not Hate and our young friends in Momentum, backed up of course by our loyal blackshirts from Antifa

It's so important now, more than ever, that we in Britain show the world how tolerant we are.... by being intolerant of anyone who doesn't want to see the end of oppressive cultural microaggressions, such as Christmas and the flying of the Union flag, and those awful Alt-right nationalists who think that everyone in England should be able to speak at least a few words of English.

Just check out these vile fascists. Nazi scum!

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IN MY NEXT BLOGS

In my upcoming writings, I will be talking about the great times I've had chatting with freedom fighters from the IRA, Hamas and Hezbollah, why Diane Abbott is the best person to draft legislation to teach children about maths, and a nice fireside chat with John McDonnell about his favourite passages from Mao's little red book.

Until then, please upvote and resteem this post so we can fund more NGO's who do exemplary work with Children

Toodles

Rt Hon. Jeremy Corbyn MP
Leader of the British Labour Party and member of the Privy Council