The smile left his face as he accepted, this would be the last time he recognized the world as he had known it in life, a place he had come to love. He looked toward the window where the sunlight streamed in filtered through the leaves trees and the soft breeze caused their shadows to dance upon the floor and spill onto the wall. He felt it would be these moments he would miss the most, the simple details of the passing day, but knew it was a lie, for these details had always passed him by.
All of the words heard, read and spoken, all of the words learned, remembered and forgotten, and all the words that held such importance and commanded such attention at the time of their delivery - fell silent and meaningless. The life I have lead has been no life at all, he whispered to the empty room.
It would be the people who hold the place in heart, those who will be carried on into the afterlife, if there is such a thing. Yet, he knew he thought anther lie, for to die is to walk a path alone and whether there is a welcoming light or the blackest of walls, alone it would be faced. And all of the faces of the walking world would disappear into the memory as if they had never been born.
Have faith, was the message from so many who had walked tall, confident that their purpose was to make it through to a better world, whilst living under the yoke of promise to crawl through the one they knew. Hope perhaps one can hold, but while claims of all endless love, then place conditions on the very call. Even in the potential final move, the ego says there can be no selfless act and wants exclusivity to the last.
The call of a bird broke the silence and awoke him from the useless thoughts of life. What point there was to contemplate it all now when there is no way to back track and choose again, to walk the path less traveled or the way that so many have already passed. To face the challenge of life ahead or to take the smooth path and live a long world, cutting corners to conserve energy, to be used for what and to what end.
Contemplate in life to look at the forking road and make a choice on which to take, under the guidance of accountability for the decision and the consequences of the result. An examined life can only reflect back what has been know til that point, and turning the heel and looking ahead can only be met with the prediction of what will be met. The friends of monsters, monstrous friends and those who did their best, to be more than the rest of us, better than the best of us and still never moved far from the mean.
And I again he thought, I have fallen into the trap to think too much and do too little. Even in the last moments and before my last breath I have chosen to think more than act. And now my body ravaged by age and unable to lift more than mind, is trapped and unable to move further. My heart lay open as my eyes begin to close and I live with the hope that there is more to explore.
But if that darkened corner arrives to engulf all there is left of me, so be it for it has traveled this far, a companion from start til end. While there have been many who have come and gone, perhaps death is my only friend. And as all the lights of life release their grip, it'll be it that'll never let go.
[ a Steem original ]