Comedy Open Mic Round 3 : Hive Community Brace Themselves For The Surge in Splinterlands Pack Opening Posts.

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There was trepidation at Hive headquarters (Yes I know we are decentralised) this afternoon in preparation for the Chaos Legion Pack opening posts that will plague the platform for the next couple of month. Splinterlands community is deemed to be a major no go area for at least 2 - 3 years as the fallout from the pack opening posts hits today. The community has been cordoned off until investigators deem it safe to go back in.
"It's like fucking Chernobyl in here" claimed one source.
At the moment there have been no deaths reported but there are reports of extreme boredom and some begrudgery watching someone opening their bloody packs.
"It's a catastrophe" claimed one Splinterlands player who became a member of the community so she could check out tips and strategies from the posts of the top players.
"Now I am scrolling through thousands upon thousands of pack opening posts and I can't find a good speed strategy for my Fire Splinter group"

"I don't give a bolloxs if Eileen opened a gold foil Pelecour or whatever it is." stressed a pissed off Hive member.

"Pack openings have become the new Actifit" claimed another source that does not want to be named in case of a downvote from a fat cat.

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The platform had to increase its bandwidth as a result of the hundreds and thousands of posts emerging shortly after users were able to screenshot and format their rewards.
"We have seen it all before with the Untamed" said one Hive Spokesman.
"There are more angry posts than happy posts I can tell ya"

Some users purchased up to 2000 packs which gives them material for posting for the next decade claimed one source.

"Some whale opening their 2000 packs on video or through photos and here's me with my one pack and I get a Hill fucking giant." claimed a disgruntled community member.

The introduction of packs in the likes of video games such as FIFA has led to a massive uplift in profits from pack openings. FIFA 22 is rumoured to be in the billions alone.
It starts off when you are a baby opening a Kinder Surprise and seeing what is inside then all of a sudden you are stealing your dads credit card to score Ronaldo in a pack. Packs are just bread and butter for gaming companies. Who doesn't like a pack?

"It's just an addiction" said Steemmonstersmike who has opened his 250 bonus packs today. Although there was fuck all in the packs. He then has to go off and sell the cards individually for 3 cent each to get some of his money back to pay the mortgage before his wife finds out. But at least he got a gold foil Grund.
"That's gonna score me at least a 100 DEC per night in Silver. When DEC price increases I will be rich I tells ya" claims Steemmonstermike.

"I purchased 50 packs but I am only going to open 25 of them" lied Splinterlandsmary.

Taking a look through the blockchain it was proven that Splinterlandsmary did indeed open the 50 packs and then she bought another 25 more.

It is expected that the fall out from the Chaos Legion opening was felt over at Gods Unchained and the clean up operation will cost millions.
Meanwhile users are buying up SPT, DEC, SPS & VOUCHERS , UNTAMED to take the edge off opening their packs.

"I don't have an iota what they are for" said one buyer but I will be driving a Ferrari this time next year. Wooooo.
The first pack opening addiction clinic has opened in downtown Maiduguri after angry wife's found out their 40 year old husbands spent all their savings on some Monster Card Game.

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80% have filed for divorce already.
"My marriage may be over but at least I scored a Doctor Blight" smiled one man. "Plus I only see the kids at the weekend now so I can do the daily quests. Giddy Up."