Midweek Report - "Land Is A Pain in the Rectum," Claims Splinterlands Dev.

Splinterlands first introduced the highly anticipated Land Expansion back in October 2020 and fans flocked to buy their plots, regions and land tracts but since the presale it has yet to see the light of day as the introduction of land in the play 2 earn game seems to be much more complicated than it was first thought to implement. Land would offer the user items and spells, totems and many other extras that they could use during the game and add an extra layer onto the popular card game. But coding this into the game is proving difficult whilst trying not to ruin the fundamentals of the base game.

"It's a right pain in the hole" claimed one developer that wishes to remain nameless. We will call him Johnny for ease of reference.

"All I am getting everyday from the community is when is land?, we have been waiting a year for land, why isn't land released? Blah blah blah. My head is melted with it."

"It will be released when it is fucking released you pricks"
"Splinterlands has made half of these idiots millionaires for buying a few cards and all they do is whine and moan."

"One user has 4 tracts and he is in debt from them and the banks are asking him for their money back. And he is onto me about it!! And how is that my fault mate?? You shouldn't have purchased digital assets that were not minted in the first place you numpty. Don't go blaming me."

"If it is not the community asking me, it is the uppercrusts, the top brass and the fat cats."
"Can we see an update yet?"
"Can you show us this and show us that?"
"It's none stop"
"Splinterfest is coming and we need something, anything!"
"So I have to work 16 hour days to please them."

"I can give you something yeah but you have 2 devs from here over at Tower Defence, another guy taken to develop Runi's and Shelia the art designer is off drawing characters from Rebellion. Oh and 3 more are down the hall teaching the MLS guys how to play a soccer game.

"There are 140 people supposedly working for us and I am the fool on land."
"They hoodwinked me after the success of the Untamed while I was on a high."

"So excuse me if I am a bit miffed right now"
"I am stressed off my tits and thinking of leaving."

"Thankfully when I turn off my laptop I can escape and do a bit of yoga and maybe have some avocado on toast to relax."

"But then the phone rings that some nobody has wrote another post on Hive on about land being delayed and my line manager wants another update."

"We are not talking about coding Mario Brothers 1 here."
"And They couldn't even get the name right."
"If it is the Mario brothers then is Mario not their second name??"
"So Mario is called Mario Mario and Luigi is called Luigi Mario."
"There is an interesting tidbit for your readers."
"I am glad they got something out of this disaster of a story."

"We are talking about changing an entire game and introducing a whole different world of complexities."
"And I haven't even started thinking about staking your old Beta summoners on the land."
"So everyone needs to come back and sort this shit out, give me a couple of million and some Korean coders."
"Or we will be another year waiting for the fucking launch and the moaning will be endless."

"Is that all your questions answered" asked Johnny.

"We didn't ask any questions yet" our reporter replied.

"Ahhh Ok sorry about that , I went on a bit of a rant there so fire away then..."

"So John when do you expect Land Expansion to be released?"

"FUCK OFF"

Ok John we will leave it at that.