The Salty Side of RNG... Cap'n Dingus Style... with EXTRA Salt (There's a LOT of profanity in this... NSFW?)

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What's up Splinterlandians!

It's been awhile but your humble prose master, CaptainDingus is back with another one for your brain wallets.

Before you continue, I want to say two things:

  1. There's more profanity in this piece than a 90 minute George Carlin comedy special... for the youngins - that means Daddy says a LOT of No-No words...

  2. Tl;Dr is at the bottom... for all my erectile dysfunctional shitbags - go on, scroll down and see why I'm a whiny bitch without reading the good stuff I typed up to make you laugh at my plight... ya ungrateful swine... sometimes I swear I do this for nothing 😏

Today's topic took some considerable time for me to think about. I considered it for many days. I asked myself repeatedly: "am I being a whiny bitch?"

The answer I arrived at each time was "No. No, all things considered."

So let's talk about the Salty Side of RNG rewards and why I'm extremely frustrated.

Last week was a great week for many - THREE new cards were Airdropped to us! How badass is that?!

I for one, was pretty dang excited

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Over the course of the Presale and Phase II I had managed to get 3300 packs purchased!!

On the first set of Airdrops I received a GFL Baakjira and I was so thankful! It's all I wanted! I was guaranteed 11 minimum of each and all I wanted was ONE single GFL from my Airdrop (not one of each mind you)... and I was given it by the RNG Gods

GFL Baakjira.png

THAR SHE BLOWS!!! My very own Moby Dick --- FOIL. 😍

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So this brings me to the SECOND Airdrop... and I'm SALTY AF... 😡

Before I dive into WHY I'm so fucking salty... I'd like to start with what I LOVE about RNG!

Here's the absolute BEST thing, hands down, second place isn't even close:

All the players in the Global Chat, Discord and even my Guildies who bought < 350 packs and weren't guaranteed even ONE Aidrop...

Every SINGLE one of those players who < 350 packs yet received a GFL Aidrop of Iza, Lira or Grum was ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY ECSTATIC about it!

First and foremost:

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Congratulations - [grits teeth] "I'm so very happy for you".

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So... why am I salty? Shouldn't I be thankful that I received the airdrops?

Yes... and I am... BUT I'M ALSO REALLY FUCKING IRRITATED AND HERE'S WHY:

After the 6,000,000 pack sells and the hype behind Grum is at a fever pitch, I go to FINALLY check my airdrops (after the delays) and I pray just to receive ONE GFL - AGAIN... not ONE OF EACH...

JUST. FUCKING. ONE. ---- Doesn't even matter WHICH ONE.

Open Lira... 9 Lira (9 guaranteed)... No biggie... gotta be one of the next two... RIGHT? 4% chance... out of 27 Airdrops...

I think to myself "yeah man, this is cool, no sweat"...

Moving forward... I Open Iza... 12 Iza (9 Guaranteed)... I think "heeeeeeey that's cool! I got a few extra... WOOOHOO!... I'll get a GFL Grum for sure!!"...

21 Airdrops in - 0 GFL... 4% chance...

Open Grum with GREAT EXPECTATION... 9 Grum (9 Guaranteed)...

NO. FUCKING. GFL.

Please see the security camera footage of me, below:

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So that's THIRTY Airdrops... @ 4% chance... AND ZERO GFL's...

I'm now at 53 (56 inc Blight) Airdrops with just ONE. SINGULAR. GFL - my precious Baakjira.

Again - you might be thinking "Oh, Dingus... you silly goose... you should be SOOOOO thankful to get the Aidrops you did!"

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Let me tell you why you're wrong...

First, I went on Discord to see what other people experienced - a sea of "I bought 100 packs and check out my GFL [Insert Airdrop]!!!!!" greeted me

When I expressed my issue, along with the fact that out of every 25 drops, YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING GUARANTEED A GODDAMN GFL...

I was met with smol brained replies along the lines of:

"You got discount on packs bro"
"Be thankful bro"
"Stop whining bro"

To which I like to kindly say: GET FUCKED 😡

Can you not POSSIBLY understand why, OH WHY... I am so salty????

I'll break it down for ya:

Because I bought THREE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED PACKS (3,300) @ $4ea + Vouchers... AND...

  1. I got SHAFTED by the fucking RNG system while others who bought 100 - 300 packs (like my Guildies - TWO OF THEM) were given GFLs on BOTH Airdrops rounds.

ALL of my Guildies have 2+ GFL Airdrops but I can't catch a second? GTFOH

  1. I haven't bitched, whined or FUCKING MEOWED about how $SPS HAS FUCKING SHIT THE BED AND IS DOWN 80%... EIGHTY. FUCKING. PERCENT.

I'm in this for the long haul, I have faith, I enjoy the game... So I haven't even CHIRPED about the fact my investment is -80%

  1. DEC? See above.

  2. Card Values? SEE. ABOVE.

  3. Oh yeah - those packs I bought for ~ $7 each... they're currently selling for UNDER THREE DOLLARS on Hive-Engine: < $3

That's - 50% too...

So while I have watched the fucking Splinterlands Ecosystem tank harder than a frat boi at a Christmas Social... the only thing I have done... like a good little Dingus... IS BUY MORE.

So while I sit here:

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The ONLY thing I wanted... Literally, just like last round... The ONLY thing I wanted was ONE. FUCKING. GFL. Out of ALL THREE drops... Not one of EACH.

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So yeah - I thought about it FOR A WEEK... Before I wrote this.

I personally think it's shitty af to see all these others who have invested 1/30 of what I have... getting these rewards while I get dickle.

(In my unsalted state... I'm quite happy for you... I'm sure I'll get 2 GFL's from the next drop and be right as rain)

However, after a week of thought and consideration...

This, to me, doesn't incentivize me (or others) to make any further large purchases... I mean... why would I? I should just invest a pittance and "gEt LuCkY bRo" like the rest?

But does shafting someone via RNG who invests a decently large amount benefit them? Nope, not really...

Does it benefit Splinterlands - The Company?

No! It certainly fucking doesn't! Of course they WANT to sell large amounts of packs - and while I understand 2,000 (2,400) packs isn't "a lot" to some... $14,000 is a lot of money to ME and to 90%+ of the rest of the WORLD...

(Math: 15m Packs divided by 3,300 purchased by me = 4,545... This means I purchased 1/4,545 of ALL THE PACKS... Out of 1M +/-Players... There could only ever be 4,544 OTHERS who made equivalent purchases (less because others have bought STUPID amounts of packs)

---- TL;DR pussies start here ----

So why does it feel like I got bent over a barrel and shown all 50 states... no lube?

Again... lemme break it down for ya:

Splinterlands Ecosystem (cards) down EIGHTY FIVE PERCENT (-85%)?

Fine. I'll buy the cheap cards and be happy about it.

$SPS Down EIGHTY PERCENT (-80%)?

Fine. I'll buy more SPS.

DEC Down SIXTY PERCENT (-60%)?

Fine. I'll. Buy. More.

Happy to have the opportunity...

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All of this AND the RNGods decided to F ME IN THE A???

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If you STILL can't see why I'm so salty... call Helen Keller and she'll explain it 🤷‍♂

Sorry this wasn't my usual upbeat post... I tried to make it funny-ish... but I'm just... whatever - you get it or you don't...

Fucking RNGesus -_-

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Cheers 🍻,

  • CaptainDingus

PS - The Splinterlands RNGods better get their shit together and hook me tf up after this shitshow... 53 Airdrops and 1 GFL??? Nice 4% you got goin' on there bub... more like < 50% of that.

😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡



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6 comments
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Feels bad bro, hope the the RNG God bless you next time!

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If it makes you feel any better I purchased 2,800+ Packs and hit just one GFL (The good doctor). On the bright side, your regular foil drops are ahead of your gntd drops. I know not that great of a consulation prize but its better than no consilation prize at all. Hopefully the lack of GFL will turn around when the GFL Summoners drop. Its better to get one (not one of all six :) than it is to get one (not one of all three :) of the past airdropped cards. In regards to DEC, its still over the USD of what it was designed for $1/1000. The drop does sucks as I was hoarding 1.5 million or more if it.

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