This Just In: Court Denies Two Gun Pete Double Strike Ability

The unanimous decision was finally passed down after years of litigation.

“They made their decision based on the facts and precedent available”, a spokesperson for the court stressed. “There really was no remedy here to be honest."

Two Gun Pete took to Twitter to voice his outrage:

Argh, it be true. Me gun in the starboard hand has been shooting blanks since that encounter with a sea wench many years ago. But me still got two guns so they better be expecting an appeal.

The spokesperson for the court also stated, “yes, while it may be true he has two weapons, we have been quite clear on these cases; that alone does not guarantee a clear path to double strike. I might add there are numerous allegations against him for plundering, pillaging, and assault of a sea wench.”

Two Gun Pete could not be reached for further comment.

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