Praetoria Land Developments Ep1 - 12/17/2023

Hello my fellow Splinterlandians!!

This is your faithful friend, CaptainDingus - AKA "The man with the Llama-Kron Tattoos"... Reporting to you LIVE from Praetoria!!

If you don't know me - that's me... being goofy in Vegas at Splinterfest with our fearless leader and hype man @aggroed (Aggy is super cool irl btw)

Now that you have a face... and tattoos... to go with the text... you know you can count on me to keep you up to date!

!! Important note... There is a TL;DR at the end... YA HOOLIGANS... But you should read this because it's funny and took me like 3 hours to make 😕 !!

So! With that being said... if you want the latest developments in the world of SplinterLANDS, then tune in for my Broadcasts!!

Which aren't really broadcasts... but if you read them in your head like a 1950's News Anchor would... then BOOM you will be reading it as I typed it and intended!!

Now... back to the matter at hand... Tune in here, on Peak'd, where you will get some killer, UP TO DATE, and extremely NEED TO KNOW info on what's developing in the World of Praetoria!!

Let me start by saying that Land 1.5 is in FULL SWING and we are just 11 Regions away from TOTAL LAND CLAIM!!

Which means, you need someone you can TRUST... to keep you informed of what's going on in this wild wild digital world... and that someone... is me 😇

Today, we have BIG NEWS in the Shimmering Coasts and I am reporting to you live from there... or at least what I imagine them to look like:

First up... Let's take a look at the most recent development in Region 138: Shadowvale!

@binggis... or should I say "Lord Binggis"... has discovered the 9th and FINAL KEEP in the Region!!

Congratulations Binggis!! I can only imagine the excitement coursing through your veins as you cleared the brush, high atop the mountains... only to see a Keep standing in the clearing!!

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

... <gasp> ... 👀👀👀... <whispers> ... "Majestic... isn't it..."

Well now... That's quite a find there old chap... congrats again 🍻

But we best be moving on - we've plenty more to cover!!

Shadowvale (R138) is not the only Region to get some exciting developments today... not by a long shot!!

Next we move on to an exciting development in... Virren (R139)! What kind of development you ask...?

Well... Look at this!!

Someone went and bought... or perhaps already owning it, they surveyed...
THE FIRST TRACT IN VIRREN (R139)!!!

Let's cut live to Virren Tract 1 (R139T1) and see what we can find out about this new Land and its owner:

At first glance, we can see it is mostly Badlands... but a River Runs Through It...

cut to Millennial cinematic flashback pun

Yes. My knees hurt... Yes. My lower back aches... I get it... I'm getting old and my movie puns date me... deal with it youngins!!!!

Cough - Back to what I was saying...

After the overview, I did some digging and discovered this land was Claimed and Surveyed by... @cradle2game!

Now... at first glance... it seems to be a barren and desolate place... with Badlands and River making up the majority of th... 😱

HOLY F###ING S##T WHAT THE ACTUAL F##K IS THAT?!?!

*dives into cover *

THERE'S F###ING MONSTERS RUNNING AROUND HERE!!!

*cough * *ahem *

Apologies for that... apparently Cradle2Game has discovered... *Checks Notes *

Not ONE... Repeat: NOT ONE... BUT TWO... YES. TWO!...

EPIC... OCCUPIED... PLOTS...

What an unbelievably lucky discovery!! Let's see if we can get closer and take a look for ourselves!!

As you can see, the first one is located on Plot 61, a Tundra...

Blechhh... Just look at those things... gives me the heebiejeebies just looking at'em

Please note, this Plot IS "For Sale"!!

That's right my guy, you can easily find it on the Marketplace and pop a couple bands to put this baddie in your corn... wait... what am I even saying??

What I meant was: "You can buy it for $2,499 USD or about 2.5 MilDEC"

Now... let us resume our journey and onward to Plot 2!

As you can see here... Plot 2 is located on Plot 98, a Badlands...

Let's get a little closer and see what horrors await...
Oh dear GOD!! They're so CRAWLY and CREEPY... CREEPY CRAWLIES!!!

You know what... I'm not getting paid enough to do this... In fact...

I'M NOT GETTING PAID AT ALL TO DO THIS!!!

I'm not getting any closer to those cosmic horrors... I mean just LOOK... LOOK... at that... Weird... floaty... squid head shaped... demon eyes havin'... four tendril flailin'... talon wavin'... TRIANGLE MOUTH GAPIN' open... TERRIFYING ASS lookin' boy up there...

THAT'S A BIG NOPE FOR ME Y'ALL...

This b###h is for sale too. 25 hunnit and it's yours... along with all these nightmares...

No way... I'm out this mf'er!!

"Well... there you have it... Two Epic Occupied Plots discovered by Cradle2Game in this Tract and I must say... that's quite the Discovery... but it doesn't stop there does it..."

If you aren't aware... every tract comes with... A Keep... or even... A CASTLE!!

That's right, Cradle2Game discovered a Keep nestled deep in the Badlands, in Plot 33! Let's check it out!

See... The Rock gets it...

So yeah... In addition to TWO EPIC OCCUPIED PLOTS... Cradle2Game netted a Keep too!!

This is what I must imagine they're feeling like right now...

You could say those alone would be enough to satisfy most people...

In addition to those INCREDIBLE finds... Cradle uncovered a few other notable finds:

A Legendary Badlands (P48), 4 Epic Natty Lands, a PAIR of Epic Magic Lands and a pair of Common Occupied Plots...

All in all, that's quite the haul Cradle!! Here's a well deserved Congratulations to you!!

With all this excitement, one might forget the final detail this development brings...

With the first Tract of Virren being Claimed and Surveyed...

The next Region available will be R140: Doom Edin!

Now... According to my sources... cough @peakmonsters cough...

There is only ONE unclaimed Region out there... and it belongs to @deer3 👀👀👀

Who is this mysterious... [dramatic pause]... Deer3?...

What Region will they claim???

Why have they held out so long...?

[Dramatic Pause INTENSIFIES]

Ok ok ok... Cut the "Tootsie Pop" nonsense ya palooka!

Anyways... There you have it... Some exciting developments for sure!!

I will do my best to update this when I can - but only when something newsworthy comes up... Otherwise, I'll just try and update it occasionally when progress is made...

Currently we are at R138T10P53 & R139T2P1, respectively... so what does this mean?

We have reached a total of 139,053 Plots of 150,000 Plots Available... or 92.7% of the Land is claimed... A lot is for sale... but only 7% or so remain unclaimed!

TL;DR... Fine...

In summary:

1. Binggis found the final Keep in R138 Shadowvale
2. Cradle2Game Claimed and Surveyed the first Tract of R139 Virren... they found 2 Epic Occupied Plots and acquired a Keep... plus a bunch more... *grumbles * some people get all the luck *grumbles *
3. The next available Plot is R138 T10 P54. The next available Tract is R139 T2. The Next available Region is 140 Doom Edin.
4. We are down to 7% unclaimed land! Hurry! Go get some! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
5. That's it... that's all I got... This took awhile to type and make hilarious...

So if you enjoyed it, you know what to do:

Max Upvote (please), Repost (pretty please) and follow for more content like this... I promise to post more regularly again!! (pretty please with sugar on top!!)

Check out more of my posts on my blog and have a great night everyone 😁

If you'd like to join me in game, simply follow this link to get your very own piece of Praetoria!!

https://splinterlands.com?ref=captaindingus

I hope you enjoyed this and I hope to see you in game!!

Cheers 🍻,

• CaptainDingus